How to stop overthinking at night

During the day, thoughts compete with everything else: people, tasks, noise. At night, lying still in the dark, they have the room to themselves. The same worry comes round again and again, and the harder you try to stop it, the louder it gets.

Why trying to stop doesn't work

Telling yourself not to think about something keeps it close. Repetitive worry, called rumination, tends to keep itself going (Nolen-Hoeksema et al., 2008). What helps more is giving attention a different, gentler place to go.

1. Put it somewhere

If a thought keeps returning because you're afraid of forgetting it, write it down, one line, on paper by the bed. The mind often lets go of what it trusts is recorded.

2. Give your attention a shape to follow

Box breathing is well suited to this: in for four, hold, out for four, hold. It's precise enough to occupy attention and slow enough to calm the body. In Calmalo, a single green point travels around a circle, and all you have to do is follow it. In dark mode, it's gentle on your eyes at night.

If holding your breath feels uncomfortable, drop the holds and simply breathe in for four and out for six.

3. Let the thought be there, and do something else

You don't need an empty mind to fall asleep. Notice the thought, name it ("worrying about tomorrow"), and go back to the breath. Naming a feeling tends to take some of the charge out of it (Lieberman et al., 2007).

4. If you've been awake a long time, get up

Lying in bed wide awake teaches the brain that bed is a place for worrying. If it has been a while, get up, sit somewhere dim, do something quiet, and come back when you feel sleepy.

When to talk to someone

If overthinking keeps you awake most nights, or you're worrying most of the day as well, that's worth raising with a doctor. Persistent worry and insomnia both respond well to treatment.